Daniel Fortune

Emotions are energy in motion, and wherever attention goes, energy flows. This is true at the conscious level, but what about at the subconscious level; especially, in situations where the trauma of our past keeps sabotaging the present moment?

In this post, we’re going to lay out the transformative process that will allow us to detach ourselves from the pain of our past, so we can enjoy the moment, and break the trauma cycle.

The Trauma Cycle

Every taumatic event from our past that generated a strong emotional response in us is stored in our nervous system/soul. Those traumatic events go from being conscious experiences to being unconscious attachments.

In this regard, our bodies keep the score. Much like muscle memory, our bodies also have emotional memory. In those traumatic events where our bodies released tons of cortisol and adrenaline into our system, our nervous system is careful to store that information for future recall.

This is where many emotional defense mechanisms are born.

Many of us go on about life without detaching ourselves from the pain of our past and all that energy lingers deep within. So, what do we do when our invisible “demons” are holding us down and holding us back?

Breaking the Trauma Cycle

For many years, I struggled through life with unresolved trauma and toxic emotions eating at my vitality. I lived life in survival mode afraid to open up my heart too much. Maybe you can relate?

Bouncing through life half-hearted while running from the shadows of our past is a rather timid and lackluster way to exist.

Inherently, we know there’s gotta be more than “this” and that’s why we feel so let down, dissapointed, and betrayed by the people and events that wounded us. “Life isn’t supposed to be like this! Things should be better”!

This is where we suffer. In that space between what should be and how things could be.

Unconscious Standards Create Conscious Expectations

The way things should be is our standard. The way things could be is our goal. The way things are…

… this is where many of us feel as if we’re being crushed under the weight of diminishing expectations. We have a standard and the world and those around us goes on with no regard of our “should be’s”

Our unconscious standards create conscious expectations and we become more and more jaded when our expectations aren’t met.

Our Standards: The Should Be’s

• The way the world should be…
• The way parents should be…
• The way spouses should be…
• The way friends should be…
• The way circumstances should be…

Innocent people shouldn’t die at war. Dad’s shouldn’t violate their daughters. Mom’s shouldn’t abandon their children. Friends shouldn’t use me. Life shouldn’t be this hard.

All these shouldn’t’s are expectations, and when those expectations aren’t met, we become shame-filled, bitter, and resentful.

So, what do we do?

Breaking Unconscious Attachments

Do we continue to use the trauma of our past to justify another emotional deposit in the negative feedback loop, and allow the pain of our past become a predictable present?

This is what many of us unconsciously do, and each time we do, we feed the shame, bitterness, and resentment that keeps the cycle going.

The challenge is breaking through the defense mechanisms we have devloped to justify keeping the negative feedback loop alive

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