To a large degree, our emotional intelligence grows in lock-step with our ability to properly see situations and circumstances through the lens of perception. Perception is awareness but it isn’t complete awareness.
Our individual perceptions are merely an angle of awareness, but those perceptions don’t give us the full picture.
When it comes to accurately understanding other people and how they perceive the world, it’s important to understand the 3 levels of awareness that they filter the world and their experiences in it through.
When perceiving these 3 levels of awareness, it’s important to remember that…
1: People Love to Their Level of Self-Love
I’ve said it before, people can’t share what they don’t have. If they don’t love themselves, they will struggle their whole lives trying to believe someone else loves them, or can love them more than they love themselves.
At the end of each day, our ability to love others and receive love from others is first filtered through our self-image. Our self-image involves our capacity to love ourselves, be confident in our own skin, and show up in the world.
When we lack love for ourselves, our “storehouse” to receive love from others loses space.
This is EXTREMELY important to understand when interacting with others.In relationships, people love to their level of self-love.
2: People Communicate to Their Level of Self-Awareness
Enlightening people or changing someones mind takes a great deal of patience. When intereacting with others, they don’t always appeal to their highest values. Emotions can be tricky and sometimes they over-ride our logic and reasoning when we’re in the heat of battle.
Outside of that, it’s naive to assume that people can or are obligated to see this world through the same perceptions and filters we do.
We’re all interpreting this world and interacting with others based off of the limited awareness of our personal perceptions. While these personal perceptions and experiences are compelling, they aren’t complete awareness. They’re actually very limited.
In communicating with others, we can make the mistake of expecting what’s obvious to us to be obvious to them and this isn’t always the case. More often than not, people are communicating to THEIR level of self-awareness; not ours!
3: People Behave to Their Level of Healed Trauma
Deep… I know!
There’s a very good reason why abused children become either violent or docile adults. Their previous trauma did a good job of encouraging them to either become the villain or victim to survive. As is said, “heal the boy and the man will appear.”
For the person who had a controlling spouse and was abused in their previous relationship, it may be hard for them to conceive that you don’t need them to call you before making any decisions or want to know their whereabouts at all times.
They too may also apologize relentlessly for things that don’t seem like a big deal or become anxious/scared whenever they make a perceived mistake.
The path to assuring or reassuring such a person of their safety and security in being in a relationship with you will take both time and patience, because people behave to their level of healed trauma.
Learning to understand and interact with others at these 3 levels of awareness will help us cultivate more understanding and meaningful relationships.
If you enjoy this kind of content and would like to receive more directly to your inbox as soon as it’s published, make sure to subscribe/follow.
I’d love to hear from you! If you have questions, would just like to say hi, or have a good joke to share with me, reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. When time permits, I personally respond to each email I receive.
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox
More Great Content…
Creation is Natural: Don’t Suck At It!
It has been said that, “Every thought is a prayer and every word a spell.” This is to say that we’re all creating, because life, in, and of, itself, is a process of creation and recreation. The question isn’t whether we’re creating or not, but whether we’re good at it. In this regard, creation is…
Rapid Manifestation Acceleration: Focus on Inducing States, Not Acquiring Stuff
When it comes to speeding up our manifestation process, it’s extremely liberating to know that we can eat the “carrot” now without EVER having to chase it, in the first place. Many of us, when we first set out to begin manifesting our desires, we make the mistake of focusing on what “carrots” we want…
Bible Contradiction: Does God Give “Good” Gifts, or Serpents for Food?
As a spiritual person with an affinity for scripture and the bible, I’ve been trying to reconcile an apparent bible contradiction between the old and new testament scriptures. In Luke 11:11, Jesus makes the point that God is a good father that knows how to give good gifts to his children. “What father among you,…
A Little Bit About Me…
Hi, my name is Daniel Fortune. I’m a husband to 1, dad to 5, U.S. Army combat veteran, mental health advocate, writer, and public speaker currently residing in the central valley of the sunny state of California. I started the Minding My Own Madness Blog as with a vision to become one of the best personal development and mental health resource blogs. As someone who has battled with combat related PTSD and Bipolar 1 Disorder for 2 decades now, I intimately know the unique struggles people living with a mental illness face. Feel free to contact me at email@example.com if you find yourself in crisis or would just like to say hi. I’m always just a message away.
“You can’t fail if you refuse to quit. Keep fighting the good fight and NEVER lose hope. You’re not alone. There are other people feeling the same way you feel right now. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of wisdom.”
I had the honor of serving with Fortune overseas. He is a solid guy and our relationship has lasted long after us both leaving the Army. He has helped me get out of dark places multiple times. I’m extremely grateful for his friendship and ability to sense when others are in need. Read his content, ask him questions, and journey well!
— Eric (Friend/Army veteran)
So glad I found this blog! It helped me find the mental health resources I needed and get out of a rough patch. Doesn’t hurt to shoot Daniel a message. He was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to respond to me. You won’t regret it. He’s a really cool, down to earth, and knowledgable guy who knows what it’s like to struggle. So grateful for this blog!
Leave a Reply